| Just One More |
[
January 29th, 2008 • 11:34am ] |
Why do I even try anymore? It's a waste of time.
I'm just gonna let everything go.
Fuck all that we've been through. What I'VE been through. I don't even know if it was mutual.
Goddamn it.
|
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| To Wither In Denial |
[
January 26th, 2008 • 7:21pm ] |
I've made up my mind. I'm just gonna leave it alone and not care anymore.
The switch is turned off and it's all your fault.
|
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| Sick and Tired (literally) |
[
January 8th, 2008 • 2:25am ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
I'm sick and I can't sleep.
There's so much on my mind right now.
I'm hurting.
I don't know what I want.
I'm just so disappointed. I don't know when i'll get over it.
I really don't deserve to feel like this. Not this time.
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| Boolgyeonggi |
[
December 27th, 2007 • 3:05pm ] |
I figured since I need to rant and I don't wanna make everyone miserable I will write in here. Right now I feel like crying. I know a part of the problem but even as I try to write it, it cannot come out. I guess I just don't like telling the truth or confessing my feelings. Or even bringing up certain subjects. I dont want the other party to feel awkward or guilty and i'm scared it'll push people away.
Sometimes I just don't know. I really do feel like certain peoples life would be better without me. I cannot help it this is how I feel.
I'm sorry for everything.
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| I amount to nothing. |
[
September 5th, 2007 • 11:32pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
Sometimes I hate being passive. Why can't I ever just admit something without worrying about hurting the other person?
Just now Ashley (FV/Manatee) asked me if I was mad at her and I just shook my head. Didn't say anything, even kind of gave her a look but I didn't tell her to the truth. OF COURSE I'M MAD AT YOU!
Why can't I just say YES!?
Then she asked if I was sad and I lied to her again. Yes I'm sad. In all general areas of the emotion. I AM SAD.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I wanna smile but I can't. I wish I could just disappear and make everyone's life easier.
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| You Wanted This Ending To Happen |
[
August 18th, 2007 • 10:24pm ] |
I know I never update or anything but I just need to say it.
I feel really bummed out and I don't know what to do.
|
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| Maccas |
[
February 4th, 2007 • 10:27pm ] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dir En Grey - Conceived Sorrow |
] |
It's a bit late right now, not too late but still I should be sleeping. I can't help it though i'm wide awake and just had the most fattening meal ever. Really I picked a good time to start living healthy right?
Ah let's see. I have a busy week this week. Loads of work and all this other crap but I made a list of goals that I want to try and get done.
- Be happy and not be so sad this week. Last week really was blah for me and the weekend, hopefully all this will change. It will be difficult but I think I can do it. :)
- Watch "Stairway to Heaven" and all it's 20 episodes. I just got it back from my friend that had it for ages and since I haven't really been watching k-dramas now days I might as well watch one that I really enjoy. I know that's a little random but i've been staring at the box for a few days and I should watch it again before it collects dust...
- Stop drinking soda. I been talking about it with Ashley and it'll be healthy and help me keep in shape better if I just stop drinking that awful stuff :P
- Start making more icons for HA. I'm excited cause I liked my icons that I submitted this week. I have a feeling I won't place so i'm not gonna get my hopes up but still I should do icons more often. They make me happy :D
- Order Babyvox R.eV's album. I haven't ordered a k-pop album in awhile and I figure that one is worth it. It makes me sad that now YA don't know when original BV will release that other cd I wanted so i'll have to make do with this one. But BVR rule, they may not be as hot as the original BV girls but i'm liking them!
- Hug a shark. Don't worry I won't go and do it but if given the oppurtunity I won't say no. Haha
If i'm missing anything else i'll edit or something or if anyone has any suggestions on what I should do to make my week better let me know :P
Peace;B!
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| Myujik UDON |
[
January 29th, 2007 • 3:07pm ] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Perfume - Computer Driving |
] |
I took this from Ashley :D
---
Put your music player on shuffle.
Post the first 40 songs that come up.
You can repeat artists if you want.
If you have any repeats, skip to the next track.
1. Damien Rice - 9 Crimes
2. SweetS - Lolita~Strawberry in Summer
3. Shinhwa - All Your Dreams
4. Fly to the sky - Little Step
5. Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
6. Jang Ri In (ft. Xiah) - Timeless
7. Eve 6 - Leech
8. AFI - Kill Caustic
9. Shinhwa - Vortex
10. Perfume - Foundation
11. Kome Kome Club - Gayu
12. Romantic Ukare ~Mode - Miki Fujimoto
13. GLAY - Be With You
14. Shakira - Lo Imprescindible
15. SweetS - Countdown
16. Morning Musume - The MANPOWER!
17. Christina Aguilera - Dirrty (-blush)
18. Blink-182 - Going Away To College
19. Yuna Ito - ENDLESS STORY
20. Blink-182 - Obvious
21. SM TOWN - My Angel, My Light
22. DBSK n Super Junior - Show Me Your Love
23. Ne Poom ae ga deukwhi (opening theme for Sunshine <3)
24. HYDE - Masquerade
25. Shakira - En Tus Pupilas
26. Kome Kome Club - Orion
27. Justin Timberlake - Dick In a box (geeze XD)
28. My Chemical Romance - House Of Wolves
29. Boyzone - All That I need
30. H.O.T - Iyah!
31. Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independant
32. LEAD - Show Me The Way
33. Shinhwa - Yeol Byeong
34. M - Sometimes
35. My Chemical Romance - I Don't Love you
36. SweetS - Love ~Rasberry Juice
37. Coldplay - We Never Change
38. Cheon Sang Ji Hee - Wo raet dong ahn
39. AFI - Girls Not Grey
40. M - L.U.V
---
( Ah-Ee-Yah )
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| SNOW DREAM |
[
December 12th, 2006 • 6:52pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
SM TOWN - SNOW DREAM |
] |
I'm so buying the new SM Town Christmas album...
I could have sworn I saw Isak in the video. Not sure still gotta watch it 100 more times cause it makes me happy. Cheon Sang ji hee <3 Ri In <3
I'm in love with k-pop music again!
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|
| Jan Ken Po |
[
December 8th, 2006 • 6:14pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 relieved |
] |
I'm so glad it's the weekend. Honestly i'm so exhausted.
Monday - Heroes = sadness
Tuesday - Out and about, got Big T's b-day present and bought PULSE. We watched it together. She thought it was okay. I thought it sucked. But you know what I didn't even have to really pay for it much. Thank You border's rewards!
Wednesday - Had the day off but was out again nothing special really but I did score steak...and cake! Rhymes, eh?
Thursday - worked and then worked again an extra hour for free since i'm so nice and decided to help out with baking cookies. That was hectic. Then after work Tash and I were gonna head to Suzie's (adult store -giggles-) for her bday but we decided on doing some karaoke instead. 2 Hours with just the two of us. It was fun and in a way better without all our friends cause we both got to hog the mic :P Then I came home and watched the OTH episode I downloaded on Wednesday. Honestly I didn't think it was all that great. I hate how the show is based around Luke he's so annoying and they make it seem like only he made a difference in Tree hill. Geeze..anyways im glad Haley is alright. I love her. =D No Rachel or Deb :( wtf dude. Deb is my woman!
Friday (today) - Wanted to kill most of the kids today. I'm serious it was hectic. I had to work by myself! 25 kids all by myself. 25 kids and only about 5 of them actually listen so you can tell I had fun. I'm glad it's over. Oh and I watched MONSTER HOUSE at work today. It was pretty good and i have to say..for an animated movie it had a pretty good ending like some live action horror movie. That was dope!
Now i'm home. I'm foo-ree-jing and i'm bored and tired but I don't wanna go to sleep. I still don't know if i'm doing anything tomorrow AD still hasn't given me and Tash and answer. Hope i'll be going down to Ewa Beach tomorrow if not then i'm here. Either way i'll try to make the most of it!
Hope everyone has a good weekend =DD
---
Ah now i'm so worried. My good friend from elemtary/middle school is going through so much. Her bf just moved away a few weeks ago to cali and the other night he broke up with her. OVER THE PHONE! Her rent is being raised and she can't afford it. She just lost her job and it's Christmas time. I feel so bad for her but in all honesty I can't do anything for her. There's only so much my listening can do and she wants to take her own life. :( Idk what to do...it's depressing.
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|
| Fricken Shit |
[
November 25th, 2006 • 1:20pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
I'm talkin to my friend right now and he says that if I take my comp in to be fixed then it can take a month. Christ. I'm sick and it sucks just to know that.
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|
| No Ice cream, no pudding! |
[
November 21st, 2006 • 9:11pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
full |
] |
I'm slowly giving up on H!P.
They hardly ever interest me anymore. I was looking forward to watching Biyuuden's new PV "Ice Cream to my Pudding", I even downloaded it twice since the first time it didn't work and now that I watched it I feel like throwing something at Tsunku. Dude wtf. I know sex sells and all but SOMETHING has to be tasteful. At least let the song be a little good. Like GaM's 'Melodies' video ruled cause of the obvious but the song was great too. This V-U-Den and Maki shit sucks. They're hot and all but I don't enjoy the music! Tsunku sucks ass! Oh and btw the V-U-Den video sucks just as bad as the song. Just cause they're dancing around in lil playboy bunny outfits doesn't mean I like it. I'm a byeontae sure but I have my standards too!
Rika's hair must die! I don't love her anymore. I like Yui better! Hear that Rika Ishikawa, huh?!
( Piccies )
Anyways i'm full of shit cause I know i'm probably gonna make icons using caps from the video. XD Damn you H!P, I can never fully let you go! Haha
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|
| no aloha friday for us |
[
November 17th, 2006 • 6:34pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
melancholy |
] |
I want to die.
Honestly this is possibly the worse Friday ever.
This is the icing on the cake for the fucking week I had.
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|
| Agitated Screams of Maggots |
[
November 13th, 2006 • 9:37pm ] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Dir en Grey - Obscure [live] |
] |
Dir en Grey's new single suits my mood right about now.
Honestly...
I really hate silly girls.
I really hate angry mothers.
WITHER TO DEATH.
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|
| POONG SEON |
[
November 13th, 2006 • 1:09pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
DBSK - Poong Seon |
] |
-Comment
-Credit
-No hotlinking/or editing
Enjoy!
( Ballooooooons )
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|
|
| JUON |
[
November 8th, 2006 • 10:38pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Long day..been up since 5:30am, been gone from the house since 7am. Worked from 8-5.
After work we went to Starbucks and picked up Ashley then we went to have dinner. Lol after dinner we went to Taco Bell to get SJ something for dinner and there was a long ass line in the drive thru so tash bumped "Beat it" by MJ and that fucken ruled. LOL and then when we drove by the pick up window she blasted "Am to Pm" by Milian and Ashley was so embarrassed. Basically we bumped Beat it like 50 times in traffic until we got back to Sj's job and dropped off the food. Then we went to best buy and I got Shakira's Live album and it comes with a dvd. Woot!!! I was gonna get her Oral Fixation vol. 1 cd (yes the sex spanish one) but then Tash begged me to buy Jojo's album and since I didn't want to spend too much money there I put it away and got Jojo. OH! And I bought the Maxim issue with Peyton, Brooke and Rachel on the cover. -byeontae- I was gonna buy the blender with Xtina but it was all jacked up and it was the last one. u_u Sadness. OH haha and Tash and me was trynna embarrass ashley by asking one of the employee's if they had "Ferjie's" (Fergie's) cd. We're dumb and for some reason we found that hilarious.
Anyway after BB we went to the movies. We ended up watching The Grudge 2 and let me tell you, it's hilarious. But only when you have Tash, Chris and Ashley commentary. Honestly..Tash kept making sexual jokes about the Grudge lady and it was a good thing we were the only ones in the theatre. Haha AND we were all scared too. Movie has too much jumpy parts but it was better than the first one!
Alright as much as i'd like to stay on i'm dead. I'm gonna shower and head to bed because tomorrow is another long day. Thank god for Friday holiday!
I miss my SH u_u
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|
| Noooooo </3 |
[
November 5th, 2006 • 4:31pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Shakira - illegal |
] |
Dude look at this!
"miyakisan your Koharu icon was first place but then when I tried to upload it, relized it was over the 40kb limit so it was disqualified. Please, everyone check the size of your entries before turning them in, thank you!"
That's fucken sick dude. First time I place 1st in Hello Awards and I get disqualified.
</3
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|
| Warm Fuzzy Pouch |
[
November 2nd, 2006 • 6:56pm ] |
| [ |
music |
| |
My Time - Park Jung Ah |
] |
What a day.
It's weird how tired I am but I don't want this day to end. It is 6:35pm right now and my day started out at 3:40 am. Just got home about 30 minutes ago. Anyway so I woke up at about 3:40 (my alarm clock was supposed go off at 4 but then I woke up randomly and it was raining pretty hard so I figured - yes I actually think when wake up that early..n e way. Was thinking that since its raining I should get up instead of going to sleep for that extra 20 minutes just in case the power goes out and that alarm dont go off and im late for work when im supposed to open)Okay so I go online, check my email and do some stuff, get ready and then finally leave.
I'm only supposed to work til about 2 but then DW calls in sick and so I was asked to cover for her til 5pm. I don't mind since she covered for me tuesday so I ower her. But you know today the kids were real cute. It was storming here so we couldn't go outside at all and they were bored. They managed to get me in trouble, irritate the shit out of me and hurt my feelings all before 9:30 am. I was fed up and almost ready to leave or I wanted to leave rather. I would never really leave. They have my heart, honestly. But this track i swear to god they drive me crazy. I was pretty frustrated. But after that tash and I had a long talk with them and they straightened out a bit and things were pretty smoothe after that.
So today I did an activity. Made them do "Warm Fuzzy Pouches" and you sickos get your head out of the gutter :P Haha. Nah so what we was doing I had them make and design a pouch out of paper and everyone was given a sheet with EVERYONE's name on it. They all had to write one nice thing about the person and drop the comments in their pouches. It was cute really but the reason I did it was cause these kids can't get along. They're always fighting and stuff and I want to teach them that all you need it love. Its true right? lol That turned out great cause they were excited about it. After that we read out warm fuzzies and I got some pretty good ones ;) I think the cutest one I got was "I love you because you are a nice leader" lol was from one of my favs too <3 lot of good ones. OH and this is classic. One of the kids was reading his one out loud and all it said was "Tiny and willing" and i swear me and Tash couldn't stop laughing. Worse his mom was right there. Idk what got into us. We're coconut byeontaes
Rest of the day was laid back. Watched Over the hedge oh and I played a prank on one of the parents. Fricken one of the most DDEUGO mothers I have ever seen in all honesty. Even Tasha thinks so oh and get this her name IS Natasha. And she's a stripper. :-o Neun likes haha. NAHHHH!!
Then on the way home we got starbucks. Good stuff now I am talking to Dongi. All is well. Saranghae Moodoo! Peace;B y'all.
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|
| Machines try to take me to HELL |
[
October 25th, 2006 • 3:19pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
JESUS CHRIST - Hyde |
] |
I'm bored so I made 10 icons and decided to post them up here for fun. Show some love and let me know what you think!
- 1,2 - Yuna Ito (Endless Story PV)
- 3-6 - Kyo (Dir en Grey - The Final PV)
- 7-10 - Hyde (Seasons Call PV, Countdown PV)
( Endless Story )
Hope all is good :D
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|
| 10 variations |
[
October 22nd, 2006 • 8:28pm ] |
|
Finished my 10 variations of Koha Kusumi of Morning Musume. I'm actually pleased with most of the results. Hope you all like them!
And suggestions are welcomed for the next time I do 10 variations. :)
( 10 variations )
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|
| Questionable Burgers? |
[
October 18th, 2006 • 8:29pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Rainbow Pink - Koha and Sayumi <3 |
] |
At work there's these two kids that have a Japanese mom. So the first time I met her I told her about how much I wanted to go to japan and that i loved jpop music. I told one of my favs was morning musume. So today she comes to pick up her kids and she gives me something. It's a Morning Musume fan! Like those fans that you wave at yourself to get cooler. Those kind. And on the fan there's a group picture of all the graduated members of morning musume. ^^ It's awesome and I asked if she got it from the H!P info village and she said she got it from Japan. She rules! That made me excited. I know i'm such a huge dork but I can't help it I felt like I had to share :P
Oh and today Tash offended me. I packed lunch for both of us and made her a burger and she made a disgusted face when she saw it. u_u Hurt my feelings. But she ate it and she loved it. She wants more burgers from me. Ahhhh the burger monster.
Then I went to Sam's with her and we were looking in the liquor section. I really wanna drink but ah..I have to fight temptation. :P Also i'm addicted to that Rainbow Pink song from koha and Sayumi. I'm such a byeontae swear to god.
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|
| ...'kaseyo TOWER |
[
October 18th, 2006 • 10:30am ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
giddy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
MADE IN HEAVEN - Hyde |
] |
Tonight was a good night.
Took Eommani out to dinner then headed to Tower Records to get Veronica Mars season 2. Good show can't wait to watch it. There's a sale going on down there everything is 15-30% off cause they're closing down. It's sad really. I love tower records, it's one of my favorite stores and now it's gonna be gone u_u I guess it's alright as long as I still have best buy and circuit city.
Oh and when I went in the back I saw this small rack with Japanese albums and I about shit myself. Seriously dude Dir En Grey's "Withering to death" album for only $14.99. That's the best deal I seen since never! Regular price online is $30 for that cd and get this, the cd included 4 music videos (2 of which I haven't even seen yet) and their CODE OF VULGAR[ism] tour. It's one of my fav j-rock albums of all time. What a deal. And I bought Hyde's "Faith" album. Hyde is one of my fav jrock/pop singers and i love everything he's done. It's weird since I like his music so much and I don't even listen to L'arc en ciel. Such a shame maybe I should although I tried and I couldn't sit through even 4 songs. I should try again right? Anyways I wanted to get Nana Kitade's album but I didn't want to spend too much.
Oh and tonight I started on my 10 variation icons. I'm doing Kusumi Koha of Morning Musume. She's so cute I swear and the pic i'm using rules. TV is awesome haha. I did the first 4 and I'm happy with 3 of them. The 4th i'm not so sure. Even Sunchiza-Nuna says that it's nothing special. Gotta appreciate the honesty right? And I finished my icons for Hello Awards this week. I'm pretty happy with those too. It's rare that I like what I do but I guess i'm improving.
Ah well i'm done for tonight. Going to bed soon so i's be dreamin of all of you. Sayonara see you again adios bye bye cha cha!
Oh and got this off a random page..
:-o so much for friends! Thank you Jay, Ashley and Tegan haha :P
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|
| The Earth Is Shaking! |
[
October 15th, 2006 • 3:05pm ] |
|
Yeah I was woken up a little after 7am this morning from shaking. Yes Hawaii witnessed an earthquake and not a 2 second one that happened last month on the windward side. This earthquake lasted about 20 seconds I think and it was a little stronger than the last one. So you know I got up and my mom was freaking out. It wasn't as bad as it could be so I don't know what her trip was. I was pretty fascinated actually cause dude..since when did Hawaii have earthquakes? Lol I came online after that and about 5 seconds later I felt another aftershock shake and then the power went out.
So from 7:30am til whenever I heard my mom yelling for me to help her with groceries I slept. It was freezing cold cause the rain and wind and it was nice and quiet with the power outage- perfect for sleeping. But then I was called downstairs and I swear eoma is crazy. She bought a shitload of bottled water and canned food and i'm thinking that the power was gonna be back on in a few hours. Lol but it's okay its always good to be prepared for anything.
And with the power out for so long you'd think I'd be bored right? I wasn't actually I was pretty entertained. I read a little and then I remembered I downloaded a movie the other night so I watched it on my laptop and was hoping the whole time that it wouldn't die. And it didn't!
Okay Fanboy moment! haha
The movie I was watching was "Sukeban Deka Codename Asamiya Saki" starring some of the H!P girls. Woot. There's Aya Matsuura (1/2 of the sexy duo GaM :P), Rika (my second most favorite Hello!project girl ever) and Yui and Erika who are both in Biyuuden along with Rika. How hot is that? It was a good movie and that's not because i'm biased or anything but you know the HP girls did make it a plus. Anyways a few things i learned from watching that movie -
- Aya Matsuura (Asamiya Saki) can kick anyone's ass
- Innocent Rika Ishikawa can play a good bitch/popular girl
- Erika Miyoshi is actually hot (LOL)
- Yui plays a good depressed girl/lesbian (i swear Erika and Yui was lesbos)
- All H!P girls in this movie can act AND I think the movie was better than Pinch Runner =X (sorry for anyone who thinks otherwise!)
- I am now in love with Aya and she just bumped Kaori out of 3rd place for my favorite HP girls :P
okay that's all i'm saying.
PS - i'm safe so thanks for all who worried (dongsaeng :P) And i'm pretty sure Tash is safe too!
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|
| Kanak Attack |
[
October 11th, 2006 • 7:03pm ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
GaM - Melodies (Piano version) |
] |
Ah I don't want to go to work today...I feel so useless right now.
But I made a new icon...it's so Kawaii ^_^ Koha is love <3
And I fricken LOVE this song and NO not just cause of the video, GaM is sex sure but their music is great too.
PS - Hi Court, I miss you and H6M :)
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